Hello again… I have a burning issue that came up at a recent gathering of 10 pigs (male friends) at Roy's restaurant in Phoenix, AZ.  I complimented a couple of waiters and waitresses on their professionalism and service (you know me.. being a gourmet pig I like things done nicely) and they looked at me like I had three horns growing out of my head!!!  I did not say anything negative.  I said something positive.  Yet, my compliment was not received well.

We dug further into the topic of complimenting people and how it is received.  What we realized is that there is a lot of risk with paying someone a compliment these days.  Will it be accepted?  Will I be viewed as being weird?  Or worse, will it be rejected?

The discussion centered on why some men compliment, why some some men don't compliment and when compliments stopped happening.  We guessed it could have been the late 80's or early 90's but we could not recall exactly when.

We discussed that most men just "gave up" complimenting women because it became either politically incorrect or was taken the wrong way because some other "loser" man misused it as a way to start a "pickup" conversation.  We thought it was really cool how in the past, a compliment was simply a desire to acknowledge another person for their beauty, service, or professionalism.  And always, the gracious response was a simple, 'thank you".  Unfortunately, today, this is not the case.  We live in an "acknowledgement-less" society. So when a compliment is given by a stranger, there are so many questions about the motivation of the compliment that neither the giver nor the receiver feels good about it.

So we then decided that we will bring the compliment back!   Communicated in a professional way, we believe REAL pigs should have no problem complimenting men or women.  Next time try saying "I am impressed with your service or style… and then shut up! Let the compliment be accepted no matter how long it takes!  Sometimes it will accepted, sometimes it won't be accepted….it doesn't really matter.  What matters is that you have taken a positive approach which will make you feel better and possibly make someone's day a little brighter!

Michael J. Coogan, Co-Author, Know Your Pig - Playful Relationship Advice for Understanding Your Man(Pig)

"Translating a Man's World into a Woman's Language"

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We just joined two of the biggest social networks: Facebook and Myspace to help friends of Know Your Pig share and connect with us thru social networking  It's fascinating how rapidly people will connect with one another online.

We encourage you to link to us on one of these sites, as we are starting to share discussion groups and people are setting up fun events in different cities to connect and relate.  We are curious how effective others use the social networks to connect and share?  Which is your favorite?  Are there other networks we should join?  Let us know.

 Come visit the Know Your Pig  Group on Facebook. It's growing and getting interesting. 

Michael J. Coogan is co-author of Know Your Pig, Playful Relationship Advice for Understanding Your Man (Pig)! 

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We are just starting out

Hello and welcome to the Know Your Pig Blog.  Ok, so everyone else is far ahead of us with blogs and RSS feeds. Our little pig brains might be small but they are smart and know the value of these for both you and me. And we love the flexibility it will provide for keeping in contact with you.

Our goal is to augment our blog with relevant updates, tips, comments about articles or books that we've read or just about any information that is swirling around in our heads that we think you might care about such as male female relationships, relationship advice, and couple communications.  Fair enough?

It is important to us that you have quick and easy access to all the information we can find or share that can help you get to Know Your Pig.

As we are just getting used to this process, please do not hesitate to provide us with your comments so that we can make the best use of your time and ours.

Have a great day!

P.S. Don't forget to check us out at www.knowyourpig.com

Michael J. Coogan is co-author of Know Your Pig, Playful Relationship Advice for Understanding Your Man (Pig)! 
 

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One of the first questions that we are always asked, is why did you write the book?  It's been so long that the book has been a significant part of my life, it's hard to remember…but here is my best answer:  To bring back the fun in getting to know and understand males from a male perspective. 

We felt the books on the market either were too "PhDish" know-it-all, written from a woman's perspective on men, or simply stating the obvious without giving you tools and techniques that worked in a fun light hearted way.

Relationships are supposed to be fun right? 

Actually, the original idea came from a time when I told a joke to a male friend and a woman overheard it. She leaned over and said "Men are pigs!" to which I replied, "Yes, we are but that's not the question you should be asking. Since we are all pigs, you should be asking yourself what kind of pig do I want and do I have the tools necessary to manage him".  She just started laughing out loud!   She probed and asked me to tell her more so we started a conversation and it became the beginning of the book. 

I also shared our conversation with my sister and she thought it was hysterical and really liked the idea and the different approach. I  then enrolled my friend, Bill Burton, who also thought it had merit and we started sharing it with both male and female friends.  They all thought it was fresh, fun and had some pearls of wisdom that most women would appreciate.  Everyone kept telling us "you guys gotta write this stuff down… it's too good and funny".  Sooooo…with a lot of encouragement, we wrote and published the book.

Michael J. Coogan, Co-Author, Know Your Pig - Playful Relationship Advice for Understanding Your Man(Pig)

"Translating a Man's World into a Woman's Language"

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