Hello again… I have a burning issue that came up at a recent gathering of 10 pigs (male friends) at Roy's restaurant in Phoenix, AZ.  I complimented a couple of waiters and waitresses on their professionalism and service (you know me.. being a gourmet pig I like things done nicely) and they looked at me like I had three horns growing out of my head!!!  I did not say anything negative.  I said something positive.  Yet, my compliment was not received well.

We dug further into the topic of complimenting people and how it is received.  What we realized is that there is a lot of risk with paying someone a compliment these days.  Will it be accepted?  Will I be viewed as being weird?  Or worse, will it be rejected?

The discussion centered on why some men compliment, why some some men don't compliment and when compliments stopped happening.  We guessed it could have been the late 80's or early 90's but we could not recall exactly when.

We discussed that most men just "gave up" complimenting women because it became either politically incorrect or was taken the wrong way because some other "loser" man misused it as a way to start a "pickup" conversation.  We thought it was really cool how in the past, a compliment was simply a desire to acknowledge another person for their beauty, service, or professionalism.  And always, the gracious response was a simple, 'thank you".  Unfortunately, today, this is not the case.  We live in an "acknowledgement-less" society. So when a compliment is given by a stranger, there are so many questions about the motivation of the compliment that neither the giver nor the receiver feels good about it.

So we then decided that we will bring the compliment back!   Communicated in a professional way, we believe REAL pigs should have no problem complimenting men or women.  Next time try saying "I am impressed with your service or style… and then shut up! Let the compliment be accepted no matter how long it takes!  Sometimes it will accepted, sometimes it won't be accepted….it doesn't really matter.  What matters is that you have taken a positive approach which will make you feel better and possibly make someone's day a little brighter!

Michael J. Coogan, Co-Author, Know Your Pig - Playful Relationship Advice for Understanding Your Man(Pig)

"Translating a Man's World into a Woman's Language"

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